Betsy Wood acompañó su hijo Corbin a reencontrarse con su familia biológica en junio de 2006. Esta es una reflexión escrita por ella cuando regresó a casa.
La perspectiva de una madre:
Desde el día que empezamos el proceso de adopción, planeamos en nuestros corazones el día en que nuestro hijo se reuniría con su familia biológica. Mi hijo recibió una llamada de teléfono de Pro-Búsqueda para iniciar el contacto con su familia biológica después de más de veinte años. Él estaba vacilante, un poco escéptico respecto a la fuente de la llamada y necesitó un poco de tiempo para procesar sus pensamientos y emociones. El apoyo físico y psicológico de Pro-Búsqueda fue patente desde el primer día. Le aseguraron que sus sentimientos y pensamientos sobre esa situación eran naturales y eso nos ayudó a calmar nuestras mentes y nuestros corazones.
Como una familia, discutimos acerca de las historias que habíamos oído durante años sobre familias biológicas que han querido entrar en contacto por razones de ayuda económica o como una ruta de entrada a los Estados Unidos. Sería falso decir que esos pensamientos no cruzaron nuestras mentes. No queríamos esas historias, sin embargo, teníamos que prevenirnos antes del reencuentro. Como madre, sentí que la reunión sería dulce y amarga por los dos lados, que respondería muchas preguntas a todo el mundo pero que, al mismo tiempo, despertaría emociones que no están resueltas. Fue importante para nosotros estar con él en El Salvador para apoyarle de cualquier manera que él pudiera necesitar. Él quiso que su esposa, su hermano y yo compartiéramos la experiencia con él. Me preocupaba que la reunión pudiera potenciar sentimientos de frustración y tristeza, respecto al deseo de apoyar a su familia allá en El Salvador, pero que está limitado por nuestra realidad financiera aquí. La preocupación más grande de nuestra familia fue que encontraríamos a su familia con muchas necesidades y que nos pedirían una ayuda que no podríamos darles.
Personalmente, estaba sorprendida por estar en El Salvador otra vez y ver que las cosas no han cambiado prácticamente nada desde nuestra primera visita hace 20 años. La gente de Pro-Búsqueda nos acomodó en un lugar limpio y seguro y nos acompañaron toda la semana, traduciendo, transportándonos y atendiendo todas nuestras necesidades. Eran, y todavía son un apoyo fantástico para las familias salvadoreñas. Para cada lugar, ya fuera físico o sentimental, que mi hijo quería visitar, ellos se encargaban del transporte y el apoyo. Visitamos el orfanato, las casas de su familia y la zona que él conoció cuando era niño.
Pro-Búsqueda nos organizó una cena de reencuentro maravillosa con su familia biológica como anfitriones. Fuimos afortunados porque cada uno de sus hermanos y hermanas, tíos y abuelos pusieron asistir. Nos pidieron, y dimos permiso, para que miembros de la prensa estuvieran presentes en el reencuentro inicial. Las emociones de ese reencuentro no pueden expresarse en palabras. Fue increíblemente gratificante como padre formar parte de esa experiencia asombrosa. El amor y la preocupación que sintieron por él durante estos años fluyeron y yo creo que llegó a un parte de su alma, proveyéndole paz y curándole como ninguna otra cosa pudiera haber hecho. Estaba seguro de que la separación de su familia fue porque quisieron lo mejor para él y que, ni por un momento, estuvo fuera de sus corazones y de sus pensamientos. Hablar con su familia y sus padres sobre lo que ha pasado durante los años de la guerra, respondió a muchas de sus preguntas. Pudo ver fotos de su madre y padre e inmediatamente recordó sus caras, un momento realmente emotivo para ser presenciado.
Fui bendecida en esta vida porque nunca he sufrido el dolor de tener que separarme de un hijo querido durante sus años de infancia. Sólo puedo imaginarme remotamente el dolor de no saber dónde o cómo está uno de mis niños. Tengo mucho respeto y admiración por su familia.
Muchos padres de niños adoptivos se sienten intimidados y tienen miedo de que su niño un día quiera conocer a su familia biológica, temerosos de perder el amor de su niño por otra familia. Como hija adoptada que soy y con una hermana que también es adoptada, aprecio los sentimientos del hijo adoptivo y también de la familia adoptiva. Los padres adoptivos y también las familias biológicas quieren asegurarse de que han tomando las mejores decisiones para sus hijos. La vida me ha enseñado que el amor no es un elemento finito. Hay espacio en el corazón para amar y acoger a más de una familia y sólo con hacer eso, todos los miembros de esas familias quedan vinculados de un modo inexplicable e impresionante.
Probablemente, la parte más difícil de todo el proceso son las realidades económicas. Queremos que regrese, que les visite otra vez y ayude a la familia, pero sabemos la realidad de nuestras posibilidades. Él se pregunta por qué fue él, de todos sus hermanos, el que puedo tener una vida mejor. Naturalmente, por un tiempo corto, él estaba convencido de que quería trasladarse con su familia allá. Entonces sí, el reencuentro fue agridulce. El reencuentro, aunque fue alegre, también abre heridas no resueltas con la familia biológica. Mi esperanza es que ahora que ha visto con sus propios ojos que él ha sido querido y protegido, sus heridas y temores puedan empezar a curarse.
Guiar a mis dos hijos hasta la madurez es el propósito más importante y significante que he tenido o que tendré en mi vida. Como una madre joven, no he tenido los secretos de maternidad perfecta. Que yo sepa, sin embargo, es el valor de ser querido. Espero y rezo para que no pase ni un momento en el que mis hijos no sepan cuanto los hemos querido y les continuamos queriendo.
Durante nuestro viaje a El Salvador, la familia biológica de nuestro hijo nos dio las gracias por cuidar a su niño. Sólo puedo decir que fue y es un honor. Soy yo quien agradezco a cada uno de ellos por desearle lo mejor y sacrificarse por hacer eso realidad. La vida da muchas vueltas. Nada pasa por casualidad. La mano del Creador lo guía todo. Nos sentimos bendecidos porque nuestras dos familias han llegado a ser una a causa de esta experiencia.
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